


The Quiddities of Struggling Orphans

by BatchSan



Category: Final Fantasy XII
Genre: Angst, Gen, Mild Language, POV First Person, Prostitution, Tragedy, Underage - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-05-17
Updated: 2010-05-17
Packaged: 2017-10-09 13:04:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/87801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BatchSan/pseuds/BatchSan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the death of Penelo's parents and Reks departure, Vaan and Penelo find themselves alone in the world, struggling to get by. When things go from bad to worst, how will they pull through?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Quiddities of Struggling Orphans

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Trying2Life](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Trying2Life).



> Not as graphic as I had originally planned, as I had intended to go more into depth with the sex, but I decided last minute against it so as not to squick too many people (so rating is based more on the whole underage thing as there's only very mild sexual content). Quotes are directly from the game and each 'segment' switches between Vaan and Penelo's POV (starting with Vaan and continuing in that pattern). Enjoy!

** _'Keep your distance! We don't want the chocobos stinking of peasant.'_ **

Reks promised me at our parents grave that he would be there for me. That he would never leave my side and he would protect me with every breath he had in him. We set Galbana Lilies on our parents graves and he took my hand in his as we walked away.

Then he joined the Knights of Dalmasca three years later, breaking his promise to me. He argued that he was keeping his promise, by keeping all those that wish to harm Dalmasca and by extension, me included. I don't know who he was fooling because we both knew he was lying. The truth was that he wanted an escape from this increasingly dismal life we led. Things were going nowhere as they were and with the war, he saw an escape. Maybe he did believe what he said, but I didn't. Not a word of it.

Reks left me alone. He broke his promise to me.

Then Penelo's parents were killed in that raid on Rabanastre and both Penelo and I were alone. I promised her that I would never leave her side and I would protect her with every breath I had in me. I meant every word, unlike Reks.

The only problem was we didn't have money. All the gil we had, we used it to bury Penelo's parents with and what was left didn't last a week on food for the two of us. People were cruel to penniless orphans as the landlord tossed us out into the street and sold off everything of Penelo's parents that she couldn't carry on her back. We ended up in Lowtown after that with the rest of society's throwaways, hungry and desperate. I pinched several people's purses before going down there, something I'd been practicing since my parents died, and we had enough to buy a little nook with a door and two rooms from an ailing No Mou who was going to spend what little days he had left trying to walk to Nalbina Fortress to see his brother.

It didn't bring me closer to my dreams of becoming a sky pirate, dreams I've had since I was a little kid, and looting places like the palace or even pickpocketing the Emperor himself, but it felt nice to have a place to call our own.

-x-x-

** _'Penelo? What are you doing here?'_ **

When I was little, my parents use to take me out into the desert so papa could practice his swordsmanship and mama would skin the coeurls and wolves papa fell. It was done more as a hobby than an actual source of money. Mama was a great seamstress and would turn the simple pelts into anything from hats to handbags to clothing. One time she even made gauntlets from collected animal bones and pelts. Yet despite her great seamstresses skills, mama made money dancing for the rich people that filtered in and out of Rabanastre on a daily basis. Sometimes, if papa was too injured to fight off a monster in the desert, mama would take up her pole, more baton than pole, and dance gracefully around the target, killing it in graceful strikes that the monster never saw coming.

We joked mama was a great warrior priestess in another life with the way her body moved so smoothly and deadly. And I wanted to be just like her. I wanted to dance across the battlefield, felling monsters and healing my comrades in graceful, beautiful moves. I practiced everyday, moving gently and trying to dance as pretty as my mother did. Vaan always goofed on me for it, but sometimes, when I started getting really good, he would sit quietly by and watch, his eyes dancing along with me.

Then the plague hit and Vaan's parents died. His eyes stopped dancing with me for a long time after that.

Then Reks went away and I watched Vaan push down all his feelings, hide it behind a laugh or a rub of his nose. I could hear him crying at night. When Archadians raided Rabanastre, I stopped dancing and joined Vaan's tears at night. When the landlord threw us out, I didn't have a chance to grab mama's pole. I think I cried more about that than anything else.

Vaan promised to take care of me after that, even though I was a few months younger than him and way more mature than he was. He smiled that day though. His first real smile since his parents died and I knew he meant what he promised, but I knew I couldn't let him do it alone. I had to protect him as much as he wanted to protect me.

Stealing made my stomach turn with butterflies. Vaan could do it without batting an eyelash, but I was terrified and after a few half-hearted attempts, I left the stealing to Vaan. Even if I didn't approve of it, it guaranteed us some food. I turned back to my dancing to help us make some money in a more legal way. Though it paid little. Not too many cared to see the semi-talented dancing attempts of an orphan.

I was worried about living down in Lowtown, but Vaan and I had been coming down here since we were eight. Still, there were characters here that terrified me. The day Vaan surprised me with our new residence, his face was so bright with joy, even as my heart clutched in fear. I didn't want to live there, but I smiled at his enthusiasm and told him I loved it.

-x-x-

** _'The first thing you learn is you gotta watch out for yourself.'_ **

It had been at some point when I was a kid, I'm almost sure it was a friend of Reks, that someone said, 'The first thing you learn is you gotta watch out for yourself.' He had meant it during battle, but Reks had argued that watching out for your comrades was more important.

"Sure, but if you're dead, who's going to help them?"

"That's why if I did help them, they would help me in turn."

Reks was right, I've always believed that too, but I clung onto the words of Reks' friend when my parents died. When things began reaching their worst moments, I chanted this mantra, trying to block out Penelo weeping in the bathroom. Yes, I promised to take care of her, but if I couldn't even support myself, what good was I to her? I could only steal so many purses, which usually never really had more than twenty gil in them, barely enough for a loaf of bread. So I tried to figure out ways to make more money. There were plenty of things I could that would pay well. Deliveries for shady sorts and sweeping store fronts for example, except you never really could trust the shady sorts and I would go crazy with boredom sweeping store fronts.

There was another possibility, one I had tried to ignore for as long as possible. It promised good money, but it came at a steep price I was told. I was desperate though.

"I'll give you a thousand gil to return to my hotel with me for the night."

I stared up at the tall man holding up a pouch that looked heavy enough to kill a man with. The man was a merchant from Mt. Bur-Omisace, strong but pale from constant bundling up against the cold. A dark mustache covered his mouth, but you didn't have to see his mouth to know he was about ready to drool at the prospects revolving around my accepting his offer. I knew what he meant and he knew I knew what he meant. Revulsion was my initial reaction to the idea, but that pouch... My hand stretched out with a mind of its own, it did the same way when I picked someone's pocket or nabbed food from a stall. It was natural. A mind of its own. As if I was only its form of transportation and it was a thing of a living, breathing nature. The pouch was as heavy it looked. It felt... It felt like heaven.

I agreed to the man's terms and followed him back to his hotel. I wasn't proud of what happened next, but the gil helped pay off various tabs Penelo and I had collected over the last few weeks on the street. When Penelo asked where I got so much at once, I pretended not to hear the question. Not that that would stop her questioning. She pounced on me and glared at me until I swore she was burning a hole in my soul with her gaze.

"I did some things for a guy and he was very happy with my work."

"'Some things'? Vaan, what exactly did you do?"

She looked torn between suspicion and dawning horror. My stomach flipped uncomfortably at the look on Penelo's face.

"I'm fine. Things are fine. You don't have to worry. I told you I would take care of you and I am."

Penelo's hung her head, silent for so long that I thought I had killed her with my words. Just when I couldn't stand the tension any longer, she placed her hand softly on mine.

"I have to take care of you too," she said.

She was gone before I understood what she meant. By the time I moved to stop her, she was gone, blended into the shadows of Lowtown. I hoped she wouldn't do anything stupid, but this was Penelo. She was a smart girl.

-x-x-

** _'I will see that you are kept from harm.'_ **

My hands shook the first time a boy kissed me. I was nine and he was a classmate of mine. Jeb Tribane. He was a sweet boy with a crush on me. He kissed me after I helped heal his scrapped knee when he fell from some stairs. It was a sign of appreciation, but we also both knew that it was our first kiss. My hands shook until he pulled away, blushing and apologizing before running off. The plague took him a year later. I didn't kiss a boy for a long time after that.

I knew what Vaan had done. He hadn't told me what it was, but I've known him for so long that I just knew what he had done. There was guilt in his eyes, but whether the guilt was for what he had done or that I might find out, I couldn't tell. As it was, I couldn't let him do this, at least not without feeling horribly guilty about it. He could get beaten, robbed, killed, raped... I didn't want to think about the possibilities. I just knew though that if Vaan was risking himself, then I couldn't sit by idly and wait for something to happen. If I did something, made some money of my own, then he wouldn't have to do it as much and that would improve his chances of survival.

I couldn't lose Vaan, he was all I had left in this world. Maybe I wasn't the only one left in his life with Reks simply away, but he was definitely all I had.

One thing I had become aware of years ago while walking about Lowtown was that most men were deviants. They either were lusting after a fight, blood, drink, weapons, money, or sex. I'd seen enough prostitutes to know how to set myself up for men to approach me, and I did that, leaning against the wall next to a dimly lit alley. Several bangaas looked at me with eyes wide with lust, but they kept walking by, either afraid that I was too convenient and likely up to something or unsure if I would do the things they wanted. Secretly I was glad they didn't stop.

Several humes walked by too, they seemed more interested. They were ragged looking, scarred from battles and stinking of drink. I was scared when one finally stopped beside me, smiling a little too much. His eyes were a dark green, his skin dark from the sun, and he had this scar going diagonally on his chin. He didn't smell like liquor, but that was only a small comfort.

"How much for a pretty little thing like you?"

"Two thousand gil."

Laughter. "Your pussy made of gold?"

"I'm a virgin," I said with a deep blush.

The laughter faded, his eyes now serious. "Been a while since I had virgin snatch...," he mumbled to himself, "I have three thousand, but I need to keep at least half of it for supplies."

"No deal."

Scowling in dismay, a smile slowly crept up his face again.

"Two thousand and I'll give you my pal's silver blade. It'd fetch a pretty penny. I stole it for myself a bit ago, but your snatch is worth far more than some blade."

"Let me see the blade and the gil first."

The man flashed the items at her from the inside of his coat and Penelo gulped, gathering her courage and led him to the alley. Her hands shook the whole time he kissed her, clenching to blood when he pushed inside her.

She was doing this to keep Vaan safe, Penelo reminded herself as she tried to separate her mind from what was happening.

-x-x-

** _'Your cage may have no bars, but it is a cage.'_ **

Penelo was quiet for several days after she came back that night. I wasn't sure what had happened but I knew enough to give her time and space. Three days later, she set a pouch and a silver blade on the small table we had. I didn't have to ask what she did to get it. I knew.

I felt guilty. Sick and guilty.

"Penelo, you shouldn't have."

"Neither should have you."

"I promised to take care of you."

"And so did I."

This wasn't going to go well if we kept on, I knew that from the stubborn look on her face. With a frown, I dropped the money I had earned in the last three days from what I was beginning to call 'romps'. Penelo looked even more angry.

"I did it so you wouldn't keep doing this or at least do it less! How much did you make? There has to be at least three thousand gil here!"

Vaan had the decency to look embarrassed. The truth was that after the first time, the pull of money was too great. What was a bit of discomfort compared to the chance of making quite a bit of money? Sure, not everyone paid a lot, but when you let enough guys do stuff to you, it adds up quickly. There was no way to explain this to Penelo, not short of a black eye and a string of curses that I had only earned the wrath of once before when I accidentally ripped her favorite stuffed animal years ago. I didn't want her hurting herself though, not like this.

"Penelo..."

I didn't know what to say.

"I'm going out."

"Where are you going?"

"What do you care?"

"I do care."

She paused at the door, studying the floor before walking out. I felt responsible for this but there wasn't much I could do to stop it. We needed the money.

-x-x-

** _'So, what would you do different?'_ **

I was terrified of the things I did. It was like I wasn't me anymore. Something in me felt dead and gone, replaced by a cold emptiness I didn't care for. My mind retreated into itself, fantasies of a better life where Vaan and I had parents and Reks wasn't away and there was no war or plague, kept me sane. I felt the world spiraling around me as I walked from one alley to the next. Despite the money I was making, I didn't eat much and lost a lot of weight in a short amount of time. I was scared too when my period stopped for two months, but it finally came back on the third month. That was when I had to stop what I was doing.

Just like with my attempts at stealing, I realized I was not cut out for this life of depravity. I could not live with the sick feeling in my stomach that screamed at me, begging for me to stop and remember who I was. I walked for a day straight, all through Lowtown, then through the streets of the city above. I thought about everything from the earliest memory I could remember to my parents dying and everything that had led me to where I was today. I thought about protecting myself and protecting Vaan and how I'd have to start looking for a new way to do that.

I eventually collapsed from exhaustion and a hunger I had ignored for three days on the streets of Rabanastre.

\---

"Penelo, are you awake?"

The voice was familiar yet unfamiliar all at once. My tired mind couldn't place it even though I knew I had heard it before. A scaly hand touched my arm and my eyes opened slowly in curiosity. It took me a moment to adjust the light but finally I saw the blue bangaa that was peering down at me anxiously. So familiar...

"Do you remember me?"

"Migelo?"

He smiled and nodded his head, his other hand adjusting a damp towel on my forehead. The name had spilled from my lips, but I still couldn't remember him. How did I know his name?

"I found you outside of my shop, burning up with a fever. It was fate that I found you, Penelo. I've been looking for you for months."

"Why?"

Migelo removed the towel from my forehead, turning around to a table behind him where he re-wet the towel before turning back to me and replacing it.

"I heard about your parents. They were very good friends of mine. I use to sell some of your mother's works and your father told the best stories about the desert and fighting monsters. When I heard they had been killed, I was sadden, but when I heard you'd been turned into the street, I was even more sadden. As a courtesy to your parents I wanted to offer you a job at my shop and a place to sleep."

Tears blurred my vision. I had to be still unconscious on the street because there was no way I was actually hearing this. There could be no way fate had decided to stop playing its cruel game with my life.

"PENELO!"

I winced at the shout of Vaan's voice as he rushed to my side. Migelo was momentarily shocked and confused by the appearance of Vaan.

"Do you know this boy, Penelo?"

"Vaan. Yes, he's my friend."

Vaan was hugging me, pulling me to a sitting position as he buried his face into my neck. I could feel his tears against my skin and tears welled up in my eyes. Placing my arms on his back, I bent my head down to my long time friend. This was real.

"Can Vaan work here too?" I asked Migelo through my tears. "We need each other."

Silent, his eyes cloudy, the bangaa nodded his head in agreement and I held Vaan tightly. We didn't have to worry about selling ourselves for money anymore and we could really keep our promises to protect each other now. I was so grateful.

Thank you mama and papa.

**-End-**


End file.
